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so who should show up on my doorstep...looking for the previous occupant, but still...but shindo shuichi. what the hell. the insane thing is that he seemed to have no concept of how long he'd been gone. he was pretty shocked about what had been going on...from the fact that he was gone more than a few weeks, to me dating eiri. that seemed to be what hit him hardest. which was a surprise, considering how cavalier he was about the whole thing up until that point. eiri assures me he wants nothing to do with shu...but it's all very awkward for me. shuichi wants us to go back to being friends...and i told him it won't be the same as before because i'm not the same. i guess he understands that...i'm not really sure. who can say with that guy? i don't know if i really WANT to have anything to do with him, myself. i think maybe guilt and a sense of obligation are keeping me from telling him to fuck off.

one good thing about this is that bad luck has finally been dissolved. of course, shuichi plans to work on a solo album with NG. so that worries me a bit. maybe i could beg my way back to NG, but i won't. i'll continue working on releasing my album independently, but now there are no constraints on me. that feels pretty good.
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